"Don't Look Back" - Song Insight

Urgency.   Love.   Exploration.   Adventure.   Regret.   Yearning.

"Don't Look Back" is an important song for me. Yet, for years I assumed it was lost, and while I thought I had something spectacular, I had never captured a recording of it, so the only thing left was fragments of muscle memory playing bits and pieces of the simple riff you hear at the beginning.

Take a listen:

In a way, losing my grasp on this song was an allegory of me losing my grasp on my dreams of composing music for a living. Sure I've composed dozens of songs and soundtracks over the years, had some success and am quite proud of what I created, but lets be clear:

Choosing a career in tech was not the dream.

Then, last year in 2018, I became nostalgic and wanted to "re master" a number of earlier songs I wrote and recorded between 1986 and 1991. At that time, these were the songs that were certainly going to launch my music career:

I had been in high school bands, and played off-and-on during college. But after my 3rd year of school I toured for a year with Up With People, learned a ton, got a whole lot better, and when I came home, I was ON FIRE to make it in music (if not as a touring musician, as a songwriter).

I had written a bunch of new songs and sent them out to record companies.

Most never responded.

Some did, and one in particular gave me a great critique in the middle of the "no thanks" letter. Soon after I was offered a tech job, and now I'm 28 years into that career.

But this song. This song was special to me, and captured the energy I was looking for. And while it was lost for years, now it's found. 

I found it at the end of my old 4-track masters. Never labeled, never properly archived. It was like discovering a long-lost precious gem. This song is important to me because it captures what I was looking forward to, my urgency to get into music, the love of adventure…

…and it very nearly was never to be heard.

I composed the verse and chorus in 1987, I didn't remember recording any of it. It wasn't until my recent "re mastering" work did I discover the completely recorded version from 1991, except the vocals. What I completely forgot was not only did I record the MIDI tracks in 1987 before I graduated high school, but that when I returned from Up with People in 1991, I composed the rest of the song (the bridge and ending), and finally recorded the instrumentation (including guitar) onto my 4-Track cassette recorder.

Then, in 1992, I started my job, and forgot about it. Actually, that's not true. A couple times a year I would play the riff, think about my decision of tech vs. music, and move on.

Well, now with updated technology, I was able to remaster the 4-track recording and put it into Logic Pro, and finally finish the song.

However, I couldn't find the lyrics. I can still picture a torn-away page from a spiral notebook with lyrics to this song, but no memory of the verses…just fragments of the chorus.

But as I said, this is an important song for me, and it was important to complete this song and release it. I started singing / humming to the song, and every time through, a bit of memory was uncovered, reconstructing the choruses (and eventually the pre-choruses).

I could never remember the verse lyrics, nor the melody, so I just re-wrote them.

In the end, this is a multi-decade layered song. Here's what you hear:

1987: Composed verses and chorus

1987: Recorded the drums, base, synth, and piano onto my MIDI sequencer

1991: Composed the full song (ending, b-section, …)

1991: Recorded the full instrumentation (including guitars) onto 4-track cassette recorder

….

2019: Remastered instruments, wrote new lyrics for verses, recorded vocals, published

~~~~~~~

Now that I listen to it, I love it. The song captures the urgency I felt, and to this day constantly feel, to keep moving, to experience new things, and how much I want the love of my life by my side for the entire ride.

I hope you enjoy it.

Greg. November 29, 2019.

P.S. The love of my life from the song in 1987? It's the same love of my life that's been by my side every day since, and continues to ride by my side, her hand wrapped in mine, as we chase our dreams.  Love you, Lady.


~~~~~~  Lyrics   ~~~~

Verse:

It’s time to break away

There’s no way I can stay

it’s my life at stake

I hear it call to me

a world of “what could be”

Out where I was meant to be

Bridge:

And I’m never going back

No more time for yesterday

But I need you by my side

To feel alive!

CHORUS:

and I say that we ride, into the summer night

Across the great divide, your hand wrapped in mine

We’ll be free to chase our dreams until the end of time

And baby always remember, yeah baby don’t look back

Don’t look back           just keep your heart a dreamin’

Don’t look back          just keep your faith and don’t look back,

don’t look back, don’t look back on yesterday

Verse

Ooooh, it’s been so hard

Paralyzed by what “could have been”

To you, I promise this

whatever time we have left

I will give you my best

Bridge:

And we’re never going back

No more worry or regrets

And with you by my side

We’ll feel alive!

CHORUS:

and I say that we ride, into the summer night

Across the great divide, your hand wrapped in mine

We’ll be free to chase our dreams until the end of time

And baby always remember, yeah baby don’t look back

Don’t look back           our future’s what we’ll make it

Don’t look back          just keep your faith and don’t look back,

don’t look back, don’t look back on yesterday

Bridge:

And we’re never going back

No more time to second guess

with you my heart is full

And ready to ride!

CHORUS:

and I say that we ride, into the summer night

Across the great divide, your hand wrapped in mine

We’ll be free to chase our dreams until the end of time

And baby always remember, yeah baby don’t look back

Don’t look back           our future’s all we need and

Don’t look back          just keep your faith and don’t look back,

don’t look back, don’t look back on yesterday

Hard Core Impact on a Robot

“Hello. My name is Greg. I’ve been a youth group survivor for 23 years”.

That’s how I imagine some remember their church youth group experience growing up. Not me. My high school youth group became such a core part of my existence that its effects are still strong in my life. Pretty apropos that it was called “Hard Core”. Even more, the leader, Chuck, took the helm, guided this young sailor through the rocky shoals that could have wrecked me early on. I now reflect on how I started sailing this sea of life with a great captain to guide me.

This is really for all youth leaders that wonder. “What does it matter if I show up tonight to lead these kids in worship and other youth group mayhem? It’s not like they care.”  Trust me. It matters. We care. Show up…please.

Hard Core Effects on the Life of Greg:

I met my wife there!   Hard Core had coffee houses and I had just joined a band with my friends Eric and Pete. I didn’t know anyone else at the time, but I played at one and met Karyn. If memory serves, it was the classic “I saw her in the crowd dancing to our songs…it was love at first site”. Not many people know that when I was 16 I prayed that I would meet my wife early so I wouldn’t have to do the “dating” thing. I remember deep talks about relationships, intimacy, self-control, all of which were instrumental in “waiting” for the wedding.

Hardcore gave me confidence that I could actually play music and rock for Jesus.

I remember sitting with Chuck in my dad’s ‘84 Toyota Camry and listening to “The Rock” (click to listen now) that I recorded in my little studio to a cassette. He was very supportive. Now music is a core part of my life. I’ve toured the world playing music, performed throughout Rochester, composed many songs and full soundtracks, built a recording studio serving startup bands and players, and am currently serving in my church, leading a Sunday band and the student band.

I finally rid myself of my obsession with Prince. Since 8^th grade I bought everything having to do with Prince and it shaped my thoughts and actions. Hard Core gave me the guts to literally burn it during a cold Hard Core night. I still remember the pain when Karyn tore the Purple Rain album sleeve in ½, but now I think of how liberated I was after that. It let Christian music in so I could be more open to Jesus. It was a HUGE thing and helped me in my journey.

I’ve got 4 kids now!!! Not that having kids was the focus of Hard Core but adult male role-models on how to treat women was. Chuck treated his wife well in front of all of us students and his little one that put some seeds of wisdom in my brain.

I learned the value of quiet time. We went to some farm with a really old piano. It was winter. We were told to walk by ourselves and reflect. It was almost like we were in training, never just on a “youth trip”. Trips like that were always great fun, but a sense of urgency or importance or something made it clear we shouldn’t fool around with this Jesus thing…that we should get with it and never look back.

During Hard Core I experienced times of worship so intense! If I would have known how rare that would be through my life, I would have savored it even more. We learned that students shouldn’t be toyed with when it comes to worship and Jesus. We were so ON FIRE! I still remember feeling it was like the early church. We all went to school together, played after school together, went to church together, small group together, we went out on weekends together…and we were all believers so it was one of the safest environments to grow up and mature in. We weren’t toyed with. We were told one night, “he comes like a thief in the night, to steal, kill, and destroy” and if we didn’t help each other and become strong believers, we’d be in big trouble. This was all an experience I’ll never forget.

I Remember being given a “Sailing” painting by Chuck before they moved. I still have it. It reminds me of the impact he had on me and the impact I can have on students now. The following movie is the song Chuck wrote inspired by that painting and other photos from Hard Core.