A REAL Hintermeister – Marriage Quiz

If you look around the Hinterland, you may notice an extra dose of
affection in our marriages. While communication, hard work, and listening are common ingredients, there is also an extra "something" that makes a HinterMarriage work.
Take this quiz to see if you have a dose of HinterMojo in your marriage.

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Scenario 1: Your wife is playing a timed game in her phone which requires all of her concentration.
Do you:
A) Wait to talk while while at the same time enjoying the beauty of her face. Additionally, you spend the time thinking how you can make her happier knowing as soon as she is able she will focus on you.
B) Tell her some bad news...most likely she won't hear it. But later,
you can truthfully say "but I told you last Sunday"
C) Ask permission to buy a new gadget (read: guitar). Most likely she'll just hear "can I... " and just say yes. Note: be sure to have your shopping cart full to the point of "confirm purchase". That way the time between her "Yes" and " Wait, what?” only needs to be 1.37 seconds long to finalize the purchase.

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Scenario 2: You and the missus are deep inside Mayo Clinic on an all day adventure with your mended-heart girl, and there is NO SERVICE on either iPhone. Your wife pulls up a game to pass the time.
Do you:
A) Compliment her on her casual gaming skills
B)  Pull up a fancier-dancier game because she inherited your old phone, and while it was cool in 2008, you almost feel sorry for her vintage technology as you pummel your virtual opponent.
C) After she starts her game, loudly state (so the echo tech can
hear), "Huh. No Internet connection. I guess I'll do what I always do: pull out my Bible app and read my off-line version of the New Living Translation. I wonder what Haggai can teach me today? Honey, do you want to read along? Well, maybe your heart will soften some day"

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Scenario 3: Your Bride complains about all the laundry she has to do with 6 humans in the house.

Do you:

A) Offer to take over the laundry chores

B) Offer your kids as humble laundry servants. That's the second reason why you had 4 of them anyway. (The first being, of course, being that a family of 6 is the perfect fit for amusement park rides...whether the seats come in 2-2-2 or 3-3 configurations)

C) Embark on your one-man campaign to reduce laundry-ready clothes by wearing the same jeans, cozy shirt, and fleecy the whole week long...only putting on new undergarments each day...ok...once every two days.

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Scenario 4: You're turning down the street with your blinker on, and you use your tongue-clicking skills to create a crazy complex rhythm that combines ethnic tribal beats with the turn signal. Your wife says to stop acting like your 7 year old and be quiet!

Do you:

A) Apologize and turn the radio back to “songs we thought were cool in the 80’s”
B) Feign shock at her dissing your new found gonna-retire-a-gojillionaire tongue-rhythm skills and vow to only let her visit you in your tongue-shaped mansion twice a month
C) Triple-down and add lip spurty razzberries, guinea-pig-throat-grunts, and perform your “Shower-stall symphonies” until she remembers she married you for richer and poorer, sickness and health, adolescent and mature.

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How did you score?
If you chose:
A) You will learn the hard way that women don’t really want sincerity and apologies. Good luck.
B) Your HinterMojo is brewing but still needs some time in the fire
C) HinterMojo is nicely adding fire to your marriage and you are closer than ever to her realizing you already ARE the perfect mate.

Are You a REAL Hintermeister?

With all my attempts at trying to become less robot-y, I am concerned that I have mis-guided you to think incorrectly of the Hintermeister Brand. After all, we are a unique gene pool that dates back to the year 1370 in Gerlisberg, Switzerland. Here is our family crest:

Therefore, in order to gain full appreciation of all that is true Hintermeister spirit, I have created a self-guided test to determine if you can consider yourself a REAL Hintermeister.

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Scenario 1: You are mowing your 5 acre yard and see a small furry critter running away from you in fear.
Do You:
A) Stop the mower until the critter is at a safe distance, then erect a small ‘animal-crossing’ picket fence to avoid future mower-induced fear that might shorten the life of your furry friend
B) Ignore the critter and continue to mow because, well, a straight-lined lawn is a Godly lawn. And, if God had meant for me to care for that creature He would have made it out of an iPhone, a guitar, or made it run a heckova lot faster
C) Swerve wildly in hot pursuit in hopes that you overtake the critter, see furry confetti fly out of the business end of the mower, and celebrate with the same gusto as one would celebrate your brother crashing his car into the family mailbox

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Scenario 2: You have 4 or more children. Off in the distance you hear one of them screaming.
Do You:
A) Drop everything you’re doing, find your precious off-spring and have a calm discussion with any oppressor of the benefits of verbal diplomacy
B) Drop everything you’re doing, find out if your precious off-spring’s pain is:

1) If self-inflicted: Tell him to grow a pair and learn to suffer because life is full of pain
2) If bully-inflicted: Declare that jail is going to be a tasty reward fo the pummeling you are about to give his offender

C) Drop another ice-cube into your drink and turn the music up louder. If they were really hurt someone would come running with blood on their hands to prove it. Besides, you are well stocked with extras

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Scenario 3: Your favorite band is coming to concert, but your wife is not a fan. Further, it’s on your anniversary.
Do You:
A) Spend quality time with your wife
B) Spend quality time with your wife before the concert. Suddenly complain of a headache…and go see the concert…return with medicine from the store and resume quality time after the concert
C) Inform your wife through her Google Calendar that you have a scheduling conflict from 7pm-10pm that night, and counter with several other nights during the rest of the month that work for you

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Scenario 4: You finally got the book/movie you’ve been waiting from the library for 3 months, but you just got back from two weeks of travel and your family wants “connect-with-daddy” time.
Do You:
A) Set aside the book/movie because you realize your family is far more entertaining and fulfilling than any book or movie
B) Set aside the book/movie while you arrange a ‘play-date’ for your kids…and wife…leaving you all alone. Creatively, you arrange to rid the house of your family without them knowing, thereby reflecting any guilt onto them
C) Declare that it’s “Healthy Family Month” and have them all in bed by 8PM…leaving the entire evening to you and the missus…and the fact that she just “doesn’t get” Clint Eastwood and leaves you alone…Well that’s just more chips and cheese for you.

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Scenario 5: You are at a family reunion and a new married-into-the-family relative-ette asks, “Why are only the women helping to get the reunion meal made!?!”
Do you:
A) Stand up and offer to help
B) Stand up and move out of ear-shot to a different chair
C) Reply “Because I’m not barefoot and can’t get pregnant. Oh, and while you’re helping, could you top off my drink?”

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Scenario 6: Your in-laws are scheduled to come over for dinner on a perfect summer evening.
Do You:
A) Prepare the grill, cook the meat, enjoy their company
B) Prepare the grill, cook the meat, enjoy their company
C) Prepare the grill, cook the meat, enjoy their company
…because a Hintermeister just doesn’t mess with the in-laws. Not only is it good for marital bliss, ANY reason to cook meat over fire while drinking a fine porter is a good decision.

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How did you score?
If you chose:
A) You’d better get your DNA tested…I’m not sure HinterBlood runs through your veins.
B) You are a qualified Hintermeister. However, you could learn to unlock some more of the secret HinterMojo
C) HinterMojo runs wild in your blood and you are a honorable representative of the Hintermeister Brand.
Stay tuned for future tests to determine if you are a REAL Hintermeister not just at home, but also at work and while travelling.