My wife crafted this on our Cape Cod vacation. To her, it was a quick way to represent our whole family…me, her, our 20-year-old, two 16-year-olds, 14-year-old, the dog, and even the cat on top.
I took this photo because I loved what she created, and, since it was such a beautiful location, I wanted to remind us what Marconi Beach looked like nearing sunset.
Now when I look at it, all kinds of thoughts swirl around in my head…here are some…
- That's me on the bottom. The foundation. I think that reflects reality of our family, but I don't feel very foundational.
- I don't think we had any idea what were were building when we started out...just me and Her facing the world
- What a life we've built. What an amazing, beautiful, wind-blown, facing-the-sun-and-feeling-the-warmth-on-your-face satisfying life.
- There are way too many days that I don't see our life this way...I spend too much time face down in the wet sand...trying to keep the waves from knocking our family off balance...never really taking a chance to enjoy what we have.
- We're not always comfortable with each other…I mean…look at all the sand in those tight places! Yet, we all depend on each other. (even me…I may be on the bottom but need them to keep our family tall and strong)
- This is a lot of responsibility.
- On a good day it makes me so proud and I want to show off this family to the world (like the photo represents).
- On a bad day I feel so much pressure…trapped…unable to be "free" without disrupting…and potentially toppling...this family. I think of our financial waves that wash in and out…it's up to me to keep it flowing until the kids have flown…and that severely limits any changes I can make to find "happiness"...whatever that means.
- I can't really control whether this family, or any one member, becomes unbalanced or falls away...After all, we are on a beach...where storms and waves can completely alter our landscape (the Cape Cod outer beach, the location of this photo, is notorious for changing/eroding/building all the time)
- Everything is temporary. I'm certain some high tide, remote storm, or direct gale wiped out any evidence of this stone tower my wife made. My only hope is what I've done to support this family lasts longer than I do.
Maybe this photo represents how God sees me and our family...from a wider aperture than what I can at the bottom of the pile. He can see the waves, the dunes, what's to come, what would be best for our little family tower...
...and I need to rely on His perspective far more than I do now...
...I need to listen
...and most of all, I need to enjoy these moments. They'll wash away far too soon.